The Dissent of Killface
The MiniWIZ Solarbulb...
...is totally fucking worthless.
So here's my review of a solar-powered light fixture,the 'Solarbulb', sold by a new company, Miniwiz, trying to cash in on the huge consumer interest in independent-energy alternatives. After a few Google searches for solar lighting, I stumbled across this article at Inhabitat.com. After a quick read, I was pretty much sold. It was just coming out, and I felt pretty good knowing that I stumbled across this brand new light in time to be to one of the first owners, and therefore, most environmentally-aware. And it seemed like a perfect fit. I have tons of bottles standing all around my apartment that I've kept over time for some reason or other (too lazy to take them to recycling), and to think that I could now turn those bottles into lights was cool (and would save a trip to recycling). In addition, this bulb was transportable (handy if I ever get stranded at night on the way to drop off recycling). And not only that, but the Solarbulb is also waterproof, so it would be possible to fill a bottle with some colorful water to add to the awesomeness. And if, unlike me, you don't make a habit out of collecting bottles for your house, and think that using an empty, plastic soda bottle is tacky, MiniWIZ has ya covered. They are also selling something called the POLLI-brick. It's recycled polymer (pictured above). I would give more specifics about it, but I couldn't access that section of their website, so fuck it.
Being that it was so new (so new, in fact, that the good people over at MiniWIZ haven't even updated their own website to make clear that the Solarbulb is for sale), I couldn't find any online reviews for it, so I just had to take the risk and buy it. I paid for it on the 15th of November and received it on the 25th. Not the fastest shipping time, but I was sure it was worth the wait.
Finally, the day had arrived. I snatched the package from my mailbox and rushed inside to see the Solarbulb in all it's illuminating glory. It was sealed Big-Mac style in recycled cardboard, and after ripping that nice little box to shreds, I was ready to see the bulb in action. I pulled the tab which was preventing energy flow from the battery (it actually tore, forcing me to unscrew the whole bulb first), turned off the lights, and held my breath in suspense...
And then there was light!
And then, there was not....
And then, there was light again!
One thing that needs to be cleared up immediately, for those of you who discover this Solarbulb at Inhabitat like I did, is that this bulb pulsates. It is not a constant source of light. This is not mentioned in the Inhabitat article, nor is it clearly mentioned on the MiniWIZ website aside from a tiny icon (tiny enough not to be noticed until writing this article) that says "rhythmic lighting." And yes, that probably should've been enough for me. But after reading an entire article about it and reading all the specifications on the MiniWIZ website and seeing nothing along the lines of "Oh yea, by the way, even though it's called a 'solarbulb,' which makes you think of a light bulb powered by the sun, this is in no way like a light bulb in that, IT FUCKING PULSATES!"
All I was looking for is a solar light with an on/off switch that is bright enough to substitute the lights I normally use. The Solarbulb is in no way that thing. The light sensor isn't sensitive enough, so the precious few hours you get with it will mostly go to waste before its even dark enough for its very small LEDs to be of any use at all. This is clearly made to be an accent light for a garden or porch or something, but spending $30 on an accent light for some back room of your house is more of the unnecessary excess that put us in the resource-depleted situation we're in today. After all, consider all the plastic going in to producing these solar bulbs, not to mention the batteries it takes to operate them. And for what? So you can have a light, without a switch, that blinks slowly for 5 hours and then dies? That's not only completely wasteful, but it goes against everything this company, and all alternative-energy companies, are supposed to stand for - efficiency and resource management.
To make matters worse, the MiniWIZ return policy is awful. First, you contact support online and wait for them to send a form (these Solarbulbs come from overseas, by the way, so enjoy that international transaction fee as well), and judging by the shipping time of the original product, they won't be in any hurry to do that. Then you have to return the bulb with the form completely filled out, at which time you may or may not be charged a restocking fee (oh, you pay for return shipping as well). Also, the return policy only covers defects, not unsatisfied customers like myself.
Had I shopped around more, I would've discovered potentially better investments like these (see pictures below). I'm still in the process of acquiring them, but I'll definitely update when I find a better substitute than the dogshit that is the 'Solarbulb'. In the meantime, Solarbulb, and parent company, Miniwiz, I hope you burn in a non-renewable, oily hell.
In short, fuck MIniWIZ, and fuck Inhabitat for running that article. We need to become more independent with our energy, more self-sufficient, but hawking garbage products like the Solarbulb doesn't help anything. It actually encourages wasteful spending on a misuse of plastic and batteries for an inadequate source of light. So if you're looking for a good source of light that runs on the sun, look elsewhere.