The Dissent of Killface
The MiniWIZ Solarbulb...
...is totally fucking worthless.
So here's my review of a solar-powered light fixture, a Solarbulb, sold by a new company, Miniwiz, trying to cash in on the huge consumer interest in independent energy alternatives. After a few Google searches for solar lighting, I stumbled across this article at Inhabitat.com. After a quick read, I was pretty much sold. It was just coming out, and I felt pretty good knowing that I stumbled across this brand new light just in time to be one of the first owners. It seemed perfect for me. I have tons of bottles standing all around my apartment that I've kept over time for some reason or other, and to think that I could now turn those bottles into lights was cool. In addition, this bulb was transportable. I would never have to be without a source of light again. Ever. Not only that, but the Solarbulb is also waterproof, so it would be possible to fill a bottle with some colorful water to add to the awesomeness. And if you aren't like me, and you don't make a habit out of collecting bottles for your house, and think that using an empty, plastic soda bottle is tacky, MiniWIZ has ya covered. They are also selling something called the POLLI-brick. It's recycled polymer and it's in the picture above. I would give more specifics about it, but I couldn't access that section of their website so fuck it.
Being that it was so new (so new, in fact, that the good people over at MiniWIZ haven't even updated their own website to make clear that the Solarbulb is for sale), I couldn't find any online reviews for it, so I just had to take the risk and buy it. I paid for it on the 15th of November and received it on the 25th. Not the fastest shipping time, but I was sure it was worth the wait.
Finally the day had arrived. I snatched the package from my mailbox and rushed inside to see the Solarbulb in all it's illuminating glory. It was sealed big mac style in recycled cardboard. And after ripping that nice little box to shreds, I was ready to see the bulb in action. I pulled the tab which was preventing energy flow from the battery (it actually tore, forcing me to unscrew the whole bulb first), turned off the lights, and sat in the slightly less dark room thinking to myself, "28 dollars for this?"
One thing that needs to be cleared up immediately, for those of you who discover this Solarbulb at Inhabitat like I did, is that this bulb pulsates. It is not a constant source of light. That is not mentioned in the Inhabitat article, nor is it clearly mentioned on the MiniWIZ website aside from a small icon that says "rhythmic lighting." And yes, that probably should've been enough for me. But after reading an entire article about it and reading all the specifications on the MiniWIZ website and seeing nothing along the lines of "Oh yea, by the way, even though it's called a 'solarbulb,' which makes you think of a light bulb powered by the sun, this is in no way like a light bulb in that, IT FUCKING PULSATES!"
All I'm looking for is a solar light with an on/off switch that is bright enough to substitute the lights I normally use. The Solarbulb is in no way what I'm looking for. The light sensor is sensitive, so the precious few hours you get with it will mostly go to waste before its even dark enough for its very small LEDs to be of any use at all. This is clearly made to be an accent light for a garden or porch or something, but spending $30 on an accent light for some back room of your house is just more of the unnecessary excess that put us in the situation we're in today. After all, consider all the plastic going in to producing these solar bulbs, not to mention the batteries. And for what? So you can have a light, without a switch, that blinks slowly for 5 hours and then dies? That is completely wasteful and goes against what this company, by its very existence, claims to stand for.
To make matters worse, the MiniWIZ return policy is awful. First, you contact support online and wait for them to send a form (these Solarbulbs come from overseas, by the way, so enjoy that intl. transaction fee as well), and judging by the shipping time, they won't be in any hurry to do that. Then you have to return the product with the form completely filled out, at which time you may or may not be charged a restocking fee (and you pay for return shipping as well). Also, the return policy only covers defects, not unsatisfied customers like myself.
Had I shopped around more, I would've discovered potentially better investments like these. I'm still in the process of acquiring them, but I'll definitely update when I find a better substitute to the dog shit that is the Solarbulb.
In short, fuck MIniWIZ, and fuck Inhabitat for running that article. We need to become more independent with our energy, more self-sufficient, but hawking garbage products like the Solarbulb doesn't help anything. And actually encourages wasteful spending on a misuse of plastic and batteries for an inadequate source of light. So if you're looking for an efficient way to generate light from the sun, look elsewhere.